just another story

Rohit was watching the trees passing by from the window of his compartment. He was finally going back from mumbai to his home forever. He had seen a lot of life in these two years, the girl he had been talking to every night for the last two years does not belong to him or may be she does or may be she never did. He was never sure of their relationship for the last two years, may be there was no need to know the kind or type of the relation they ever had, they were just talking, she met him only thrice in these two years in pune which in itself is a place to excite the most impenetrable souls, he did want a relationship but it never developed. This is the problem with two different souls (though it's true there are only two different souls in a relationship always), they think differently. It does not happen the hindi cinema way in which they just met once and love at first sight was never to keep them apart.

He thought as in the hindi movies, she will not ever deviate from her indian nari self and even if she is meeting someone she is supposed to shy away from the real relationship or divert his boyfriend's attention to the innocent bunch of roses on his dining table when he only wanted
her body and nothing else. He knew it does not happen like this, but there was something hidden in him which wanted him to stay hopeful, you can call it the spirit of indian heroes of the likes of akshay kumar of namaste london or ajay devgan of hum dil de chuke sanam . He thought he would win her over, but somebody from inside shouted "get real dude" !!!

He thought the real love in his eyes can never do bewafai to them, but they were talking on phone and she could not see the truth in his eyes. He did propose to her in the most traditional ways possible: in front of a mandir, on her birthday, he tried to bring in the real emotions into his eyes and told her what all he could. He does not even remember if he ever told her the whole truth. He thought he did.

He did not get any answer and not even a single chance to meet her again, to show her his truthful eyes. He was very much impressed with her innocence and honesty, she never talked about his job, his status, he was what he talked only and nothing else. He never thought that it was necessary to wait and watch for the nice occasion ... he wanted to say, so he did. He never thought she had her own life and a group of friends, they were not important to him. Her last birthday when he proposed to her had changed their life. She did not accept neither did she reject him but they were no longer the same. He does not even remember what it was like to be friends with her. For the past one year they were only exchanging the duniyadari walaa hi hello, how is work, both of them knew something was missing.

Yesterday he called her probably for the last time, it was his habit to call her in the wee hours of the morning when he could not control his emotions. He usually would not get any answer and would talk the next day over gtalk, again the same hi, hello, why did you call etc. This time he did get some words from her, she wanted him to call her the next day. Probably yesterday was the last time, he was not expecting any answers now. He was tired of this relationship.

He was not sure of what was to come in future. He did not want to talk to her anymore and probably he won't. He had planned to not call her on her birthday even, but I know he will. These words stood out from the song running on his winamp ' ham koi waqt nahi hain hamdam, jab bulaaoge chale aayenge ...'

'Loved and lost' or 'lost and loved'

She was like a fresh whiff of fragrance from first drops of rain, had the rythm of a ripple created when a child pops a stone into unsuspecting water of a pond and the depth of a clear blue sky with a lonely bird flying in the distance. she was always a little shy with a permanent smile on her face and the way she looked at him, it sent shivers down his spine. She had that unmistakable marathi beauty and her permanent smile revealed a somewhat irregular teeth structure which reminded him of yesteryear's cine actress mausami chatterjee.

Their conversation started with a fight over bad infrastructure in mumbai and why should one travel for one and half hours fighting one's way out amongst the madding crowd. He was trying to tell her what it means to travel to school by a fifteen minute ride on a bicycle and go out in a cycle rikshaw for buying vegetables with parents. As she was born and brought up in mumbai, she was trying to boast of the clockwork discipline with which local trains run in mumbai and how they have enjoyed their days on local stations with friends. The friendly banter did not last long and soon they dig their heads back into the laptop screens and started hitting keys modifying their respective excel sheets. He had joined the organisation on a temporary assignment and she was an analyst working here for the past one year or so. They talked very irregularly then onwards and just exchanged furtive glances now and then. He knew there is no point taking things further as he would be gone back in a month or so and he could never gauge what she was thinking. Before leaving he wanted to at least ask her for a cup of coffee but either she was occupied with her friends or he was just short of words and ended up asking her about the weather or location of printer on the floor, and could never ask her email id or any other contact. May be he wanted it that way, to just remember her smile, her hands carelessly brushing against his own, her presence sitting on the chair next to him, or he was short of courage or just did not want to disturb her sanctity, thinking that he would not be able to have her. The last day of his assignment came and went. He left Mumbai. They never met again.

Not every love story has a happy or sad ending, it is better to just leave some meetings at a beautiful juncture.